


Hold My Heart

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, King For A Day, M/M, Smut, The holy trinity god bless, non-au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:44:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4573800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kellin Quinn hooks up with the hot singer of Before Today, he never expects to see him again. Now, six years later, he gets an email from Pierce The Veil, asking him if he wants to collaborate with them. </p><p>Excited by the prospect, he says yes.  But it might end up being more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tell Me Baby, What's Your Type

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashisverymuchonfire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashisverymuchonfire/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i wrote a chaptered thingy love me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways, this'll update every friday unless i have a good reason for not posting, please don't demand updates.
> 
> basically [ash](http://agendervic.tumblr.com) and i were creating headcanons and then this happened. i hope you like it ^^

He slides his finger down the cold glass, drawing lines in the condensation on the window. It’s cold and sends shivers down his spine, but he keeps going. He doesn’t realize he’s drawn a frowny face until Justin decides to comment on it.

“Dude, I know you don’t want to come with me, but that’s a bit ridiculous.”

Kellin shrugs, not bothering to turn back to look at Justin. So yeah, he’s pissed, but that’s only because Justin woke him up at 6am, his phone ringing loudly and demanding his attention. Besides, Justin’s right; he doesn’t want to go with him at all.

A hand lands on his shoulder. It’s a warm weight, like Justin is trying to push away the shivers of cold with his ever-present optimism. Kellin doesn’t know how he does it, nineteen is  _the_ age for teenage angst, as presented in the form of himself. Maybe that’s why they like each other so much.

“Lighten up,” Justin says, breaking the tension-heavy silence between. “It’s going to be fun.”

Kellin rolls his eyes and goes back to drawing angry faces on the window of the car. Fun, his ass.

 

* * * * *

 

He frowns at the muddy field of grass in disgust. He only owns one pair of Converse and they’re getting ruined because Justin wants to walk through a sea of people all day. He’s never really seen the appeal, even more so now that the main act turns out to be, well… shit, really. He swears to God his ears hurt more from the dude’s singing than from Justin uncanny ability to talk his ears off. Which is a first.

“Okay, so maybe I wasn’t right,” Justin says after Kellin keeps glaring up at him from under his fringe.

“Damn right you aren’t,” Kellin mutters, bringing one hand up to wipe at the hair that insists on falling into his eyes. He honestly doesn’t know who he’s glaring at more; Justin, or his own hair. It’s kind of sad when he thinks about it, so he decides that Justin will be the target. For now, at least.

Justin sighs, clearly unimpressed with his ‘angry face’. Kellin knows the frown-y faces he drew on the car window that morning probably looked more angry than he does right now.

“There has to be something worthwhile here!”

Kellin shakes his head, the hair falling back into his eyes again. He doesn’t bother to wipe it away.

“I don’t think there is. We just drove four hours for nothing,” he sighs.

Justin crinkles his nose and Kellin swears he sees him stick his tongue out at him. He rolls his eyes, trying not to look too exasperated but he knows he’ll fail in the end.

“Come on, there must be some band we haven’t seen yet! Don’t give up hope.”

Kellin grabs the programme booklet from his back pocket, struggling to get it out - fucking skinny jeans - before he opens it, his finger trailing over the bands.

“Nope,” he mumbles. “Seen that one too.”

Justin looks up at him, annoyed but Kellin pretends he doesn’t see it, focusing on the paper in his hands.

“Wait, was  _that_  that shitty band by the trees?” He lets out a harsh laugh. “‘Best Band of the Year’? Music really is dead.”

He closes the booklet with a smirk. They’ve seen all of them and they’re all shit. Justin stops him, a hidden closing around his wrist, and when Kellin glares at him his eyes are big and excited.  
“Dude! We haven’t seen that one yet! What’s it called?”

Kellin sighs, reluctantly opening it again. He'd been hoping Justin wouldn't see it so they could get the fuck out of there.

"Before Today," he says. "But if the rest is any indication, it's going to be horrible. Especially if their stage is so far away from the Main Stage."

Justin smirks at him and Kellin instantly wishes he would've just kept his mouth shut.

"You knew? Now we're definitely going!"

 

* * * * *

 

Kellin really has to stop Justin from dragging him into things. When they were twelve, Justin convinced him to walk around in a forest with him, saying it was ‘cool’ and they’d ‘totally find dead bodies and explore caves’. That, evidently, wasn’t a very good idea when they’re parents found them the next morning with blue lips and chattering teeth.

This reminds Kellin of that situation. Even though he isn’t in any real danger, like catching hypothermia, Justin is definitely dragging him into this.   
He huffs; it’s not like Before Today are going to be anything good anyways. The only reason he’s semi-willingly going is because he wants to see Justin’s face fall when he realizes Kellin’s right.

The bass is already thrumming through the earth into his bones, though they’re not anywhere near the stage yet. He doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.

As Justin drags him closer and closer to the venue, he can hear the strumming of guitars and a high-pitched voice singing. He distantly thinks they sound good and wonders if the singer’s a girl before he realizes he’s not supposed to like them, just to say they’re shitty and then get the hell out of here.

“Dude!” Justin yells over thundering music. “This band is fucking amazing!”

Kellin shrugs, trying to come off as casual, but he has to agree - grudgingly however, he’s never been one to admit he made mistakes - they sound good. Really good actually. 

Justin quickly loses himself in the crowd, the people jumping up and down, immersed in the music. Kellin almost becomes one of them, until he realizes he’s supposed to be sulking and deny how jealous he is of this band’s sound.

He looks around, aware of how awkward he must look - a lonely teenager in the crowd, the only one not excitedly jumping around or humming along to the music. It isn’t like the crowd is big though, maybe fifty people, so he’s still close to the band.

His eyebrows shoot up at the sight of them; they all look like they’re nineteen. He can’t believe they already sound  _this_ good. He reluctantly admits to himself that jealousy is pooling low in his stomach, glaring a bit at their singer who is, to his surprise, a guy.

A guy that looks like he’s eighteen. Fuck it, he’s really jealous now. Some kid beats him when it comes to vocal talents, and that’s not something he’s ready to admit.

The guy doesn’t seem to be looking at the crowd though, either closing his eyes and losing himself in the lyrics or glancing nervously at his bandmates. That makes Kellin smile a little; at least the kid isn’t completely flawless - but Jesus Christ he looks like it.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring until someone bumps into him, spilling a drink - probably beer - over the sleeve of his jacket. The person apologizes a million times but he waves them away with a faint smile. He needed to get a new jacket anyway.

The crowd is growing slightly, probably because this is the only decent fucking band on this supposed ‘amazing’ festival. He doesn’t see Justin anymore, craning his neck to try to get a glimpse of the familiar baseball cap twisted backwards - Justin might look like a douche, but he’s probably the biggest nerd alive, except for Kellin himself - but he gives up when he can’t find him.

He finds his head nodding along to the rhythm of drums, his foot tapping silently against the ground. He shakes himself out of it, forcing his body to go stiff. He looks up when the hairs at the back of his neck prickle.

The singer is watching him, an eyebrow raised and the side of his mouth tilted upwards in a smirk, still singing the lyrics. Kellin raises his eyebrow back and the singer’s smirk gets bigger until a shit-eating grin is covering his entire face. Kellin would roll his eyes if he wasn’t so intrigued by the guy’s behavior.

The guy cocks his head in challenge, silently daring him to do something. Kellin stares back at him, determined not to let him influence anyone. The guy turns away then, looking back at the drummer - they’re obviously close friends, judging by the way they seem to communicate silently with nods, cocked heads and tilted eyebrows.

The singer doesn’t look over at him until the song finishes, glancing at Kellin before turning back and whispering something to the drummer before turning back to face the crowd.

“Glad to see you’re all enjoying this guys!” the singer smiles and Kellin chokes on his breath. To be fair, the guy had been semi-screaming a lot but he sounds like he came straight out of some of the porn Kellin has saved onto his laptop. His voice is certainly deeper than when he’s singing and Kellin feels himself flush, heat pooling in his stomach.

“This next song is called ‘Failure is Relative’ and I want everyone to jump, okay?” His eyes fly to Kellin, holding his gaze as he says, “And when I say everyone, I mean it.”

Kellin chuckles, shaking his head in refusal. The singer laughs silently, throwing his head back a bit, exposing his throat and Kellin hears his own breath hitch. What he wouldn’t give to maybe leave a mark or two on that tanned skin, turning it shades darker than it already is.

The guy winks at him, fucking _winks_ , before turning back to share a laugh with the drummer. Kellin feels his cheeks flush but bites through it; two can play at that game.

The songs starts, guitar chords ringing through his ears as he intently watches the singer’s hands brush over the guitar, plucking strings as they go along. He imagines those fingers would feel so good trailing over his skin, calluses brushing over his already sensitive nerves as that voice keeps whispering things into his ear.

The guy’s grinning again, blatantly staring at Kellin know while still remaining the focus to sing and play the guitar. Count Kellin impressed; he knows what multitasking is good for in different situations and can’t help but imagine them. He suddenly starts jumping with the crowd as he stops singing, but Kellin stubbornly remains stuck to the ground. The guy’s not going to win this one.

When he stops jumping, he looks over at Kellin again and cocks his head as the grin slowly takes over his features again. He’s still so focused on everything, so controlled. Kellin wants to change that.

He bites his lip, wringing his hands behind his back before looking up again, his eyes wide and looking solely at the singer like he’s the most important thing in the world. He is at this moment, Kellin wants to just take him into a room for half an hour and have his way with him.

He has the satisfaction of watching the guy stumble over his words, the next few lines coming out a little breathily. He has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smirking.

Justin bumps into him then, his eyes shining with a stupid kind of bliss. Kellin would be happy for him if he hadn’t just interrupted his flirting session with the really hot singer.

“Dude, you are totally getting laid tonight!” Justin shouts into his ear. Kellin’s cheeks redden, the color gradually spreading to his neck. Fuck, if Justin had noticed, who else had?

“I’m not,” he shouts back. “Shut up.”

“The singer’s totally ogling you. And to be fair, you’re doing the same,” Justin teases. “He is hot though, isn’t he?”

Kellin looks back at the singer again, letting his eyes trail over the straightened hair, the subtle muscles on his arms and swallows, his mouth feeling dry all of a sudden.

“Yeah,” Kellin chokes out. “He is.”

“That’s what I’m saying dude! If I was into guys I’d be all over that.”   
Justin looks way too pleased with himself, so Kellin pushes him away.

“We both know you’d be all over me if you were gay. Now go back to that girl I know you were making out with. You have your I’m-way-too-happy-happy face on.”

Justin winks at him, mouthing ‘You do too, asshole’, before running away to God knows where. When Kellin looks back at the singer again, the guy’s unabashedly staring at him, his eyes moving from Kellin’s face to his arms and his chest before they go up to his face again. It makes Kellin’s hair stand on end, heat shooting down his spin and spreading through him.

His facade falters a bit, but at the guy’s satisfied smirk, he bites his lip again, winking this time. The guy’s eyes gleam with hunger, with something feral, before he turns back to face the crowd, leaving Kellin with a sense of gratification.

 

* * * * *

 

“Thanks so much for coming guys!” the singer almost shouts into the microphone. “I hope you all had fun!”

The crowd cheers, happy noises being thrown at the band on-stage. The guy’s eyes land on Kellin again. He’d been purposefully ignoring him for the rest of the concert, riling him up, but oh God, Kellin’s cock is still hard.

“I know some of you did.”

Kellin loses it, throwing his head back as people turn to stare at him like he’s crazy, some looking away with disgusted noises as they notice the bulge in his pants - fucking skinny jeans.

“Anyways, buy our album, ‘A Celebration Of An Ending’ and thank you all for coming!” the guy says the words and makes a final ‘bow’, before turning his back to the crowd to walk off the stage. Kellin freezes, his muscles locking up; he feels cheated and used, his head drooping to awkwardly look at his dirty Converse.

“Oh, one more thing!” The guy almost runs back on stage, gripping the microphone so hard his knuckles turn white. “Could the really hot guy with blue eyes who I was flirting with the entire time come back stage?”

He swears his jaw fucking drops to the ground, everyone turning around to look at him. His face heats up when he hears a ‘whoop’ coming from someone - probably Justin. He would bury his head in his hands if he wasn’t so excited for the prospect of hooking up with a  _really_  hot guy right now.

The crowd parts for him like he’s a celebrity - he is going to be one after this fiasco, probably - as he walks around the podium, everyone around him whispering disbelieving things to their friends.

The tent behind the stage is small, smaller than he expected it to be, but he feels intimidated by it nonetheless. Maybe the guy’ll change his mind or this was all a prank between the singer and the drummer. His heart is pounding in his ears and he wipes the sweat of his hands on his jeans.

“My brother is over there.”

Kellin looks up, startled, and looks at the drummer. The guy looks neutral, but Kellin still sees the judging glint in his eyes. He mutters a quick ‘thanks’ before brushing past him into the tent.

The two guitarists and crew are staring at him and he shifts a bit under their stares, balancing his weight from one foot to the other. The singer’s at the back of the tent, his back turned to Kellin and he walks forward, trying to ignore the judging looks sent his way.

“Uuuh, hi?” he asks, feeling awkward in the unknown surroundings. The guy turns around, smiling invitingly and Kellin’s nerves ease a little.

“Hello!” the guy says, his eyes twinkling. “I’m Vic.”

He holds out his hand, waiting for Kellin to shake it and Kellin grabs it, maybe a little too eagerly. They feel rough against his palm and Kellin’s breath hitches involuntarily. He was right about the calluses.

Vic’s turns upwards a little, almost unnoticeably.

“I’m Kellin,” he says, his mouth dry. Vic looks even better up close; tanned skin and fucking eyes that look at him like Vic’s going to jump him any second now, in plain sight. Kellin doesn’t think he’d object.

“Well Kellin,” Vic breathes out and Kellin has to bite back a whimper when Vic fucking  _purrs_  his name, “how about we get out of here.”

Kellin nods, unable to form any coherent thought when keeps staring at him like  _that_. Vic’s full-on smirking now and Kellin wants to know what that feels like against his lips. Vic tugs him forward, nearly dragging him out of the tent. Kellin is vaguely aware of him yelling a ‘goodbye’ to everyone before he walks out of there like his life depends on it.

Kellin feels like he can relate.

 

* * * * *

 

The faux-leather seats of the taxi are sticking to his hands, his palms sweating. He curls them into a fist to pry them loose, but it doesn’t help much. His thigh is bouncing up and down with nervous energy, anticipation making his skin crawl. Vic places a hand on it, probably trying to calm him down, but it only makes heat shoot through, pooling in his stomach while he feels himself become hard again.

Vic squeezes his thigh, an involuntary whimper falling from Kellin’s lips, before he keeps his hands himself. Kellin is strangely disappointed.

Kellin stumbles out of the taxi when they’re there, waiting for Vic to pay the driver before Vic grabs his sleeve and drags him into the hotel, into the elevator where he presses Kellin against the wall, the railing digging into his back.

“Fuck,” Kellin hisses but Vic doesn’t let him go, instead he just presses himself flush against Kellin. Kellin whimpers at the pressure on his cock; Vic is warm and solid and  _right there._  If they weren’t in an elevator he’d have dropped to his knees and sucked him off already.

The elevator dings, signifying their exit and Vic reluctantly pulls away from him, his eyes dropping to Kellin’s lips before he grabs Kellin’s hand and yank him into the hallway. He fumbles with the keycard in his hands, and it seems like minutes before he inserts it and opens the door.

He’s pressed up against the wall before he can think, Vic’s fingers pressing bruises into his hips and his lips on Kellin’s, sliding over his.   
“God, I want to fuck you so bad,” Vic whispers in between kisses, dipping his head down to suck marks into his skin, his teeth grazing over Kellin’s throat and making him shiver. He arches into the touch, silently encouraging Vic to  _please, just do it._

“Fuck. Vic, I need your hands on me,” Kellin mutters, and he feels Vic shiver against him, making. Vic doesn’t need to be told twice though, pulling Kellin forward by his collar to kiss him again and reaches down to fit his fingers against the stiff shape of Kellin’s cock under his skinny jeans, and Kellin bucks into his hand. Their eyes meet, and the expression on Vic’s face is hungry, almost feral. Kellin can’t believe this is actually happening

Kellin can’t stop the moans from tumbling from his lips onto Vic’s, who greedily nips on Kellin’s bottom lip as he trails his hand from Kellin’s hipbone to his ribs and fuck, Kellin  _knew_ those calluses would feel amazing against his skin.

“Bed,” Kellin whimpers into Vic’s mouth. Vic closes his eyes for a second, resting his head against Kellin’s before he pushes Kellin onto the bed, Kellin falling over with Vic on top of him.

“Ow,” Kellin whines, the end of the word turning into a moan as Vic sucks a bruise into the base of his throat.

“Sorry,” Vic mumbles in the least apologetic way against his skin as he makes his way up to kiss the underside of Kellin’s jaw, and all Kellin can do is thread his fingers in Vic’s hair and hang on.

Vic removes his hands from Kellin’s chest to work at the buttons on his shirt and Kellin chases after him with his hands, trying to pull him back down and to relieve the pressure building in his stomach. He watches as Vic pulls the material off of his arms, leaving him with miles of tanned skin and Kellin sees Vic’s hands fumble as he pushes himself out of his jeans and boxers. The way he moves makes Kellin feel something inside of him flare because,  _God_ , Vic’s gorgeous. Kellin still can’t believe he’s here.

Vic’s hands trail down Kellin’s chest, his fingers scraping lightly over the skin and Kellin feels like he’s on fire.

“Tell me what you want,” Vic says, his voice low and shooting straight to Kellin’s gut. His fingers draw circles on Kellin’s chest, dipping lower and lower until they’ve reached the top of Kellin’s jeans.

“You,” Kellin rasps, overwhelmed by how much he wants to feel those fingers trailing over his dick, how much he wants the calluses to catch against it as Vic moves his hand. “Please.”

Vic smirks, hooking his fingers under Kellin’s waistband and dragging his pants down together with his boxers. Kellin whimpers as the cold air hits his sensitive skin, his breath catching as Vic’s fingers trail from the skin at his waist over his thighs, teasingly avoiding Kellin’s crotch and Kellin whines.

Vic reaches out and opens the drawer to the side of them, pulling out a small bottle of lube. He pushes Kellin’s boxers over the curve of his ass, down his legs, and slicks up his fingers before he presses two of them into Kellin who moans, loudly and carelessly, the sound making Vic whimper and his fingers still before they’re moving quickly in and out, curling them and pressing against something that makes Kellin arch his back of the bed.

Kellin squeezes his eyes shut tight as he feels Vic’s lips move down, kissing his jaw line and sucking marks onto the skin, nipping gently as he works his way down and down and down until his mouth is at Kellin’s neck and, fuck, Kellin can barely stifle the gasp that sounds from him as Vic sucks and bites a bruise onto that exact spot.

Vic pulls out then, coating himself with the left-over lube, leaning forward to grab Kellin’s wrists and pin them above his head, making Kellin’s skin tingle in anticipation. Something about being completely helpless to another person makes Kellin feel a bit edgy and very much excited.

Vic guides himself in and Kellin can’t stop the curses from falling down his lips,  _fuck holy shit please Vic Jesus Christ_.

Kellin closes his eyes for a second as Vic pulls out a little and then rocks his hips forward making Kellin arch his back, biting into his lower lip to try and keep himself quiet. It’s so hard when Vic keeps pushing forward, keeps searching until he brushes against that one spot. Kellin’s scream echoes through the room.

His pulse is racing fast, his heartbeat in his ears as moans are ripped from his throat. Vic presses against him almost insistently and Kellin can feels Vic’s finger shake as they squeeze bruises into the skin.

The heat keeps building up in his stomach until it’s too overwhelming, too loud to ignore and he feels the fire spreading through his veins as he comes over his stomach, Vic groaning and collapsing against him, letting go of his wrists.

He rubs against them, pressing against the sensitive skin, making him hiss. When Vic’s breathing has evened out, he slips out from under him, quickly cleaning and dressing himself before he closes the door, careful not to make any noise.

It’s better this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah tell me what u thought?????


	2. My Favorite Explosion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kellin gets offered to collab with Pierce The Veil, and of course he says yes. There’s nothing bad that could happen, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys sorry i’m a shit updater cries (i’m just really bad when it comes to procrastinating) also sorry this chapter is so much shorter than the first one, it just fit.
> 
> anyways, enjoy ^^

The first thing that Kellin’s going to do when Charlie gets home, is convince her to buy a new couch. This one hurts like fuck every time he sits down - or jumps on it, whatever. It just generally feels like he’s sitting on stone, which is _not_ what a couch is supposed to feel like.

Unfortunately for him, there isn’t really any other option besides the dining chairs right now. Even though those are very comfortable, he isn’t really feeling them. Days off are supposed to be spent on couches, not on dining chairs.

The only thing that’s really fucking annoying about that is the constant shifting he has to do to get in a relaxing position. That’s how he ends up with his laptop propped up on his chest, mindlessly browsing the Internet for a bit.

If Charlie were home, she’d berate him for ruining his posture, but he honestly couldn’t care less right now. After weeks of recording, writing and fighting with the record label, a bit of posture-ruining is allowed.

He glances at the clock, just to see how much time he has before Charlie comes home. It’s 4:27pm, much later than he thought it’d be. Apparently reading a lot of unrelated WikiPedia articles makes the time fly by.

He clicks at a link that leads to an article about squid, which makes his skin crawl with disgust. He’s never liked squid that much, mostly because of their tentacles. He’s a little bit too familiar with off-the-beaten-path porn for his likes since the age of sixteen when Justin decided it was a good idea to prank him. It almost makes him puke when he thinks about it.

Yeah, it’s not really something he’s desperate to see again.

He goes a few articles back to see if there’s anything interesting he’s missed, but when he doesn’t find anything he sets his laptop down on the small coffee table with a sigh. He’s about to stand up to grab something to drink - a coke or something like that - when his laptop gives off a pinging noise.

That surprises him, honestly. It makes him feel kind of annoyed too, because it’s day off for fuck’s sake, but he can’t really ignore it. What if it’s something important?

He dejectedly grabs his laptop again, opening his email to look at the new message he has. It makes him frown, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion, because why would Pierce The Veil message him? It’s not like he’s friends with them - he isn’t even sure how they got his email. Through his manager probably, which means it’s work-related. He really isn’t in the mood for anything work-related, but opens the message anyway.

 **Sender: Bryan Smith**  
Recipient: Kellin Quinn  
Subject: Collab with Pierce The Veil

Mr. Quinn,

My clients, Pierce The Veil, have requested me to ask if you could collab with them. The entire Pierce The Veil fanbase has been asking them to, and I’m sure they’d be delighted if you agreed. They would like to hear from you soon, because they are in the middle of recording their new album.

Sincerely,  
Bryan Smith

The formality of the message would’ve made him frown, especially because it’s a day off, but collabing with Pierce The Veil would be fucking amazing. He doesn’t really follow them or know much about them, but they’re one of the biggest bands in their genre. He can’t stop the smile from spreading over his face - he must look ridiculous, a twenty-five year old alone on a couch, grinning to himself - but he can’t help it.

He’s heard some of their songs before, mostly while he was in the car listening to the radio, and he must admit they’re very good. No wonder they’re so popular. The singer’s voice sounds vaguely familiar to him, it’s very high-pitched like his own, but he hasn’t seen them live before so he mostly brushes it off. It’s not really important anyway.

He quickly types back an answer, which is a definite yes, and mentally thanks his manager for doing an amazing job. He feels like he’s eight again, when he went to a candy store with his dad and everything was filled with sugar.

This is so going to be worth everything that comes with it.

 

* * * * *

 

“So,” Charlie asks when they’re eating dinner, “did you actually do something today or did you just hang out on the couch.”

He smiles guiltily, looking down and she snorts, kicking his shin lightly. It reminds him how much he likes her.

“Actually, I did do something.”

Her eyebrows shoot into her hairline, and it would be comical if there hadn’t been a concerned expression spreading over her features.

“Oh, do tell.”

She looks down, digging into her food again and Kellin does the same. He feels a bit awkward like this; it’s as if she actually worries when he does something. Which is ridiculous, because he’s busy pretty much 24/7.

“I got an email from someone today, asking me if I wanted to collab with them,” he says cautiously, eyeing Charlie from across the table. She isn’t really happy if he leaves for long periods of time, so he expects her to be a little bit pissed. Instead, she just waggles her eyebrows at him and happily keeps on eating.

“Who is it?”

Kellin raises an eyebrow, ignoring the hair falling into his eyes. Charlie isn’t _that_ much into post-hardcore, but she seems genuinely interested in hearing him out. He wonders if something happened at work today.

“You probably haven’t heard of them,” he says, waving his hand in vague dismissal. She lightly kicks his shin again.

“Aaaw, come on. Tell me?” she asks and goddammit, he’s always had a weak spot for her puppy eyes.

“They’re called Pierce The Veil.”

She looks pointedly at him for a second, trying to see if he’s even excited for it probably, so he puts a smile on his face. It’s genuine, well - mostly, so she turns back, satisfied.

“You’re right, I don’t. I’m glad you’re excited for it though.” She smiles one of those private smiles, a little upward turn of the lips that she preserves only for him and he lays a hand over hers, twining his fingers with hers and squeezing them.

“Thanks.”

“How long are you leaving for?” she asks him and Kellin flinches. That’s the million dollar question; he remembers the first time this happened clear as day. Mostly because when he came back, Charlie was waiting for him on the porch steps, eyes red-rimmed and tissues in her hand.

“ _I’m sorry,_ ” she had said. “ _I’m just scared you’ll find someone better every time you leave._ ”

He’d promised her he wouldn’t - he hasn’t had a one night stand since that concert he went to with Justin, and Charlie and him weren’t even together back then. He loves her too much to do that.

“A week probably. Maybe two.”

She smiles, but her eyes turn sad. Kellin squeezes her hand again - he doesn’t want her to be sad. They’ve been together for four years now and his heart aches every time he’s seen her cry, he doesn’t ever want her to cry.

“You’ll be okay right?” he asks and she nods, avoiding his eyes. Suddenly, he’s not so excited anymore.

 

* * * * *

 

“Bye,” Charlie says, pecking his cheek and righting his jacket. It looks like a scene from those romantic movies. He doesn’t mind though, he knows how important this is for Charlie. “Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Kellin snorts. Like that’s going to be a problem.

“Or the other band,” she continues and oh. Yeah that might definitely be a problem. It’s not his fault he’s genetically programmed to be a perfectionist.

“I promise I won’t, okay?”

He rubs his fingers over her cheekbones, trying to console her somehow. When she looks at him there are tears in his eyes and it makes his stomach drop.

“See you soon,” he says, kissing her before moving away. It feels strangely like a final goodbye.

“Have a safe flight!” she calls after him when he gets into a taxi. He smiles half-heartedly and does a thumbs-up. He never likes leaving her behind, but this is… different, somehow. He doesn’t know why, but he feels nauseous when the taxi turns around the corner and she disappears from sight.

 

* * * * *

 

Sometimes, he wishes his parents had took him on trips to the other side of the country. He has a high intolerance for flying - which isn’t really convenient when you have to fly around for your work - and he’s always tired afterwards, no matter how long he has to fly.

That’s probably the reason he misses the guy who’s supposed to pick him up from the airport, he tells himself. He hopes it is, anyway, otherwise Pierce The Veil decided to not pick him up. Which would be a really dick move honestly, so they better pick him up.

He throws the wrapper of his chocolate bar in the trash can before sitting down on the wooden bench - it’s more comfortable than the one at home, which is really not a good thing. Charlie really has to change that some time.

“Excuse me sir?” someone asks. The guy’s in suit - which it’s way too hot for what the fuck - and he’s looking a bit distressed, lines deep in his face. Kellin moans internally. Honestly, he really wants to sleep. And if they’re not going to pick it up, he’ll do it on this fucking bench.

“Yes?”

“Are you Kellin Quinn?”

Oh. So they haven’t forgotten about him. Well that’s – that’s better than what he had expected. He really thought the bench was going to have to do when it came to napping. This is a much better alternative.

“Yeah,” he says, standing up and offering his hand to the guy in the suit, who gratefully takes it. “And you are?”

“Bryan Smith, Pierce The Veil’s manager. We talked through email a few times.”

Kellin smiles, nodding. The guy has a firm handshake, which is probably mandatory when it comes to a job like this one, and it’s nice to have some friendly human contact after four hours of stewardesses who apologize for the slightest touch.

“Nice to finally meet you dude.”

The man smiles at him, motioning for Kellin to follow him. They start to walk towards the exit of the airport and Kellin has to refrain himself from lightly punching the guy on the shoulder. He kind of reminds Kellin of Justin, which is a good thing. Well, that depends on how you look at it really.

“Shall we?” Bryan asks him, smiling. Kellin grins when his eyes crinkle just like Justin’s. This is going to be a good day.

 

* * * * *

 

“So this is where I’ll be spending most of my days here,” he jokes when they walk into the studio. Bryan smiles at him and nods.

“Yeah, definitely. This is where you’ll sleep and eat. This is the only San Diego air you’ll ever breathe.”

He grins, turning back to look at the studio. It kind of reminds him of the studio where Sleeping With Sirens is recording their current album; all wood and brown colors, an inviting atmosphere. He instantly feels at home.

“Isn’t it a little too late for that?” someone behind him says. “I mean, you did walk outside with him.”

There are three guys behind him, and they all look slightly out of place in this studio. They walk around like they own the place though, which they probably do right now.

“Yeah he wanted to lock me in the car forever,” Kellin retorts. “That’s when I reminded him of all the profits he wouldn’t have if he left me there.”

One of them throws his head back, letting out a loud laugh before walking up to Kellin and extending his hand. Kellin takes it. He has a feeling he’s going to like this guy.

“Jaime Preciado,” he says. “I’m the bass player around these parts.”

“Kellin Quinn. Probably the best singer in this building.”

The guy behind Jaime laughs, his longer swishing back and forth. Kellin frowns; he’s seen the guy before. He doesn’t know where, but he definitely has.

“I wouldn’t say that if I were you. I don’t think our singer would be happy with that.”

Kellin grins, eyeing him curiously. “It’s not like you guys can whisk me away. I think I’ll just stay with my band.”

The guy walks up to him and claps a hand on his shoulder.

“I think we’ll keep him. Mike Fuentes, drummer of Pierce The Veil.”

Ah, a drummer. That’s why his hand feels so rough in Kellin’s. He cocks his head to the side. The guy really is familiar. He kind of looks like the drummer from that one band he saw with Justin, the one with the hot singer.

“Is there any chance you were in another band before this one?” he asks Mike. He sees Mike’s eyes widen, like he recognizes Kellin. Kellin blushes. This is the guy who’s brother he had amazing sex with. Well that’s – that’s awkward.

“Yeah, I was in Before Today. We split up a long time ago.”

Kellin bites his lip because oh no. No, Mike definitely remembers him. He brushes his hair out of his eyes as a distraction.

“That’s a shame dude. I really liked your music. I saw you live once.”

Mike’s gaze trails over him and Kellin feels the flush on his cheeks deepen. Desperate for a change of subject, he walks over to the last person.

“You must be the singer then,” he smiles, and the guy shakes his head.

“I’m Tony Perres, lead guitar player. Our singer’s taking a piss.”

Kellin shakes Tony’s hand, grinning at him before turning back to the rest. Mike’s whispering something to Jaime and Kellin watches as his eyes widen. He doesn’t know if it’s in recognition or in ‘oh my god, this person slept with the brother of our drummer’ and he doesn’t really want to know, if he’s honest.

“Well I hope this mysterious singer comes back soon. It’s not nice to keep guests waiting,” he says, gesturing wildly to himself. It can’t be that bad, really. In the worst case it’s –

“Well, he’s standing behind you now,” a voice says and Kellin freezes. Fuck, he knows that voice. Oh no. Oh no, oh shit. He turns around, watching as the guy stares at him. Oh fuck, it’s Hot Singer.

“Vic Fuentes,” he says and his voice is small. He’s not taking his eyes off Kellin and he shifts, even though the feeling is mutual. “Singer for Pierce The Veil.”

Kellin tries for a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Oh fuck, this is bad. This is horrible. There’s literally nothing that could be worse than this.

This is going to be a fucking hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, that was a thing? lemme know what you think ^^
> 
>  
> 
> my tumblr


	3. Interlude I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kellin is completely blown away by Vic when he sees him again, but what does Vic think of this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! so give-me-a-second-here on tumblr was so kind as to look at this fic, and mentioned something about writing vic’s pov, and me, being the ash trash that i am, immediately thought of undress to impress, so i decided to write an interlude. there will be more of these scattered throughout the fic ^^
> 
> also, there’ll be a real chapter coming later this week, i promise you guys ^^

Seeing a one night stand again after a period of time - whether that be short or long - was always awkward. Luckily for Vic there hadn't been a lot of those in the past years, and if he did see one of them again, they mostly didn't recognize him, and if they did they never let it show. He's also never hooked up with a fan before - that one guy five years ago didn't really count - because that would be a bad idea.

So mostly his one night stands don't come back to bite him in the ass, save for a few awkward encounters during tours.

Ironically enough, he thinks later, that's what he was thinking about when he walked out of the bathroom, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"Guys?" he asks, but no one's in the room. He frowns for a second, feeling let down, until he hears laughter from somewhere around. Releasing a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, he smiles and starts to walk towards the band.

The other singer's probably here, the one the fans have been demanding a collab with. It wouldn't bother him that much if the last collab hadn't been a complete let down; he'd gotten into a fight with the singer and they'd never talked again. There were just some things the guy said that hit a little too close to home.

Vic is well aware of how he hasn't been in a steady relationship for years, and he certainly didn't need anyone to rub it in.

The thought makes him kind of twitchy, what if the other singer was like that too? He certainly trusted the fans not to pair them with an asshole, but he really can’t help it. He fidgets with his hands, sweaty palms rubbing against each other.

He walks around the corner, careful not to make too much noise, when Mike looks up from where he’s talking with Jaime. Vic raises an eyebrow, silently asking him if the guy’s okay, and Mike nods, before quickly glancing away. Vic frowns, why was Mike so nervous?

The singer’s standing with his back to Vic, but he seems familiar in some way, just his posture and his movement. Vic swears he knows the guy, which is probably why Mike seemed a bit off.

“Well I hope this mysterious singer comes back soon. It’s not nice to keep guests waiting.”

He feels like someone punched him in the gut. He knows that voice, he knows who it belongs to. His face heats when he remembers the last time he heard it, how the guy had moaned out his name. Heat flashes through him, impressions from that night flying through his head.

“Well, he’s standing behind you now,” Vic says, his voice hoarse and trembling with nerves - and arousal, but that’s not important right now, because the singer’s staring at him with wide eyes, and fuck, he recognizes him. The guy - Kellin? - still looks the same as he did five years ago and Vic swallows when his mouth becomes dry. He can’t remember how much he’s jerked off imaging those eyes looking at him and those lips wrapped around his dick.

“Vic Fuentes,” he manages to choke out, his voice low and he sees Mike look at him in the corner of his eye. “Singer for Pierce the Veil.”

Kellin stares at him, blue eyes wide and he unconsciously licks his lips and Vic follows the movement.

He’s so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, lemme know what u think of this development? have a nice day ^^


	4. Chapter 3: Look Into My Eyes (And Write Down The Words You Taste)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, he should stop staring at Vic. He knows it's not his place. And it's certainly not working in his favor when Vic decides to pull him into a fucking storage closet to talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i’m so sorry i haven’t updated in a while!!!!!!!!!! i was really ill last week and i couldn’t write and that’s why this is so late...... i hope i made it up to you all with this <3

Kellin’s always liked the color brown. It reminds him of chocolate and coffee and warmth, and most importantly _home._ Right now, he’s drowning in it – he wants to crawl inside of it and stay there – because Vic is warm and he’s standing _right there_. He knows he should stop staring, stop looking at Vic, but he can’t bring himself to do so.

“Kellin Quinn, singer for Sleeping with Sirens,” he chokes out, extending his hand. He has to resist the urge to whimper when Vic grabs it, still staring at Kellin, but fuck, his hands still feel the same. He still looks the same too, still long hair and brown eyes but his arms are fucking muscular. “But you knew that already.”

Vic nods minutely, opening his mouth and closing it. Kellin can’t stop staring at him, questioning brown eyes switching between his own blue ones, hair framing his face with curls, that _fucking nose ring_ still there.

A hand claps on his back and he nearly jumps out of his skin. Jaime’s smiling at him, his eyes twinkling - with concern or joy, Kellin doesn’t know - and he grabs Kellin’s arm.

“Now that we’ve all been introduced, how about we talk everything over?”

Kellin nods, but Jaime’s dragging him away before he has the chance to say anything. When he glances over his shoulder, Vic’s still staring at him, framed by a concerned-looking Mike and Tony.

 

* * * * *

 

“What do you think Kellin?” someone asks him and fuck, he should really stop zoning out like that. It’s not his fault, it isn’t, because he didn’t allow Vic too be _this fucking attractive_.

“I think what you’re all saying is great.”

Mike looks at him, his eyebrow arched and Kellin flushes. He’s outnumbered here, being watched by a band of four people plus their manager. He doesn’t know why he’d expected to get away with looking at Vic for that long.

“I mean,” he scrambles, trying to collect himself. “As long as it’s okay with Vic I don’t really mind?”

He ends it on a question, looking at Vic to rescue him but the guy’s just… nodding? And that confuses Kellin, because if there’s one person here who should pay attention to what his manager and record label are saying it’s Vic.

“Vic?” he asks again and the name feels weird in his mouth. Vic blinks at him, flushing and fiddling with his hands.

“Yeah sure.”

Kellin rolls his eyes – why the fuck is Vic acting so insecure in front of his own fucking people – when he realizes that oh. Oh. Vic was staring at him too.

He feels a flash of heat down his spine, lighting him from the inside out. He tells himself to stop, to not focus on Vic, because he has a girlfriend. He’s not going to disappoint Charlie and make her worst fear come true.

“Okay,” Jaime interrupts with a smile. “That’s settled then.”

Kellin nods, watching as Vic smiles back at Jaime. He hears his own breath hitch. He wants to see it again, the flash of teeth and twinkling brown eyes, even if it isn’t directed at him.

 

* * * * *

 

Mike pulls him apart from the rest of the group and Kellin’s nails dig into his palms. The biting pain distracts him from his nerves and he avoids looking at him, instead choosing to look at Vic, who’s laughing because of something Jaime said and Kellin feels like someone punched him in the gut.

Mike coughs, a subtle way to attract Kellin’s attention and the blood rushes to Kellin’s cheeks. He’s so fucked.

“I’m sure you know what I wanted to talk to you about,” Mike says, looking down at him and Kellin nods, staring at the crescents in his hands. “Just- don’t hurt him.”

Mike’s frowning down at him and Kellin frowns back to him. So okay, maybe he still thinks Vic is hot and he still likes him, but he has a _girlfriend_. He’s not going to cheat on Charlie.

“If you’re thinking I’m going to start something with Vic you’re wrong dude.” Mike’s frown gets deeper. “I have a girlfriend. Besides, I’m not attracted to him. Not to say he isn’t attractive, but he’s not my type.”

Mike arches an eyebrow, a sarcastic ‘oh really?’ and Kellin feels strangely cheated, because that’s his move. And he’s only lying a little bit, not _that_ much.

“Don’t worry, dude,” Kellin says and he claps a hand on Mike shoulder as he breezes past him, walking towards Jaime. Mike keeps staring at him when he joins them, but Kellin pretends not to notice.

His sudden attraction to Vic isn’t going to cause trouble, simply because it isn’t a problem. It _isn’t._

 

* * * * *

 

Like he said, it isn’t a problem. He goes to his hotel, sleeps – and does _not_ think about Vic – hangs out with Pierce the Veil and records the song. That’s what it’s like for a week, and his attraction to Vic isn’t a problem until Vic pulls him into a storage closet in the studio.

Kellin would laugh if he wasn’t pressed up against Vic right now, able to feel every breath Vic takes because his chest keeps brushing against Kellin’s.

“Really dude?” Kellin snorts but his voice is a little higher than normal. “In a storage closet? Couldn’t you have picked a better place to do this. Or maybe, just don’t do it at all.”

It’s dark, the overhead light keeps flickering on and off and it only illuminates the room around him, but it’s enough to see the corners of Vic’s mouth turn down. Kellin has to resist the urge to smooth the tension in his shoulders with his fingers.

“It had to happen sometime.”

Kellin knows Vic is right in the back of his mind, but he keeps holding on to the assumption that if he’ll ignore it long enough it just might go away. He knows that all reason says that no, that’s not going to happen, but he’s going to try.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies, but he knows Vic can hear the waver in his voice.

“Yeah, you do. Everyone does.”

Kellin raises an eyebrow at that, a warm feeling bubbling in his chest when he sees Vic’s eyes twinkle in the shine of the lamp. He thought he was at least a little subtle, that maybe Mike was a fluke, but the look in Vic’s eyes says otherwise.

“Everyone?”

His voice sounds hoarse, even to his own ears, and his breath hitches when Vic presses closer to him, wrapping strong arms around Kellin’s waist.

“Yes,” Vic hums. “And I know you do too.”

Kellin wants to protest, opening his mouth to say something but Vic leans closer, and they’re breathing each other’s air. Kellin feels electrified, heat pooling in his stomach and he can’t stop staring at Vic’s lips. He wants to kiss him, wants to close the distance between them but he can’t, not while Charlie is his girlfriend.

“Vic,” he breathes out and Vic hums, leaning closer. “Vic, I’m sorry- I can’t-“

Vic jumps back like Kellin’s poisonous, staring at him like he’s done something wrong. Kellin bites his lip, looking down.

“I have a girlfriend.”

The words feel wrong in his mouth and he wants to swallow them back down, but Charlie is so lovely and he _loves her._ He’s not going to give her up just because he can’t keep it in his pants.

“Oh,” Vic stammers and Kellin swears he sees a pink tint on Vic’s cheeks. “Oh- sorry, I thought-“

“It’s okay,” Kellin says, laying a hand on Vic’s shoulder in a half-assed attempt to comfort him. “You didn’t know.”

“I should’ve known,” Vic mumbles. “Of course someone like you isn’t single, I should’ve known.”

Kellin blushes. He knows the general public considers him to be attractive – the fans certainly do, and Charlie isn’t one to shut up about it either – but hearing Vic say it just sets something inside of him loose.

“Let’s just pretend this never happened,” Vic continues. “We can just be friends? And try to act normal around each other because I don’t want to make the band feel weird.”

He holds out his hands, still refusing to look at Kellin and Kellin grabs his hand, shaking it and he tries to memorize the feel of Vic’s strong hands, knowing he’ll probably never feel them against his skin again.

“We’re friends Vic. It’s okay.”

Vic smiles at him, a tiny flash of teeth and Kellin feels himself fill with warmth again. It might not be the full-on smile he wants to see, but he’ll take anything he can get.

“Now,” Vic says, straightening his back. “How about we get out of here.”

He pushes the closet door open and walks back out, looking like he didn’t just almost kiss Kellin and Kellin can only hope he looks just as put-together right now. He kind of wants to take Vic apart, wants to card his hands through Vic hair and make it stick up and wants to kiss him so hard Vic is breathless.

Charlie, Kellin reminds himself. Charlie is your girlfriend. She’s nice. Charlie.

 

* * * * *

 

Recording the song’s okay, really. It’s not like Kellin thinks back to that night when he and Vic hooked up whenever he hears Vic sing because he sounds exactly the same. Not at all. Which means he isn’t distracted whenever Vic sings. And if he is, it’s because he’s on his cell phone.

Okay, maybe that’s not really professional of him, but whatever. As long as he’s distracted from listening to Vic sing, it’s fine. But really, Vic’s singing voice is just – just amazing. Kellin can see his eyes twinkle whenever he sings, can see how much he enjoys it and it makes Kellin feel content.

He’s a little nervous when he himself has to sing – which is weird because he hasn’t been nervous for a long time.

“ _Please won’t you push me for the last time, I scream until there’s nothing left_ ,” he sings, his face contorting against his will. The fans call it cute – Charlie does too – and he inadvertently cracks an eye open to look at Vic’s face.

Vic looks absolutely blown away, like Kellin’s just grabbed a semi-truck and ran over him. His mouth is open slightly, and Kellin kind of wants to kiss him.

“You okay Kellin?” Jaime asks him and Kellin nods. Fuck, he really has to stop staring at Vic. Vic isn’t looking at him anymore, instead talking softly to Tony. Kellin begins to sing again and he pretends he doesn’t feel Mike’s and Jaime’s eyes boring into him.

 

 * * * * *

 

King For A Day is a really good song. At least, Kellin thinks it is. He’s almost one hundred percent sure the fans will share his opinion, which is why he wishes he could focus more on the song. Yes, he knows the lyrics, and yes, he know what he’s supposed to do and when, but it’s so hard to concentrate when he’s in the same room as Vic.

He doesn’t even mean to do it; usually he’s just minding his own business but then Vic has to go and do something like brush his hand over the microphone and all Kellin can do is stare and remember the time when Vic touched him like that.

Vic isn’t particularly helping either. Sometimes Kellin thinks he does it on purpose.

Like what’s happening right now.

He’s just talking to Jaime about something when Mike nudges him and points him in the direction of Vic. He resists the urge to glare at Mike because looking at Vic was what he’d been trying to avoid, but when he sees Vic he can’t look away.

The guy’s chugging a water bottle down, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows and Kellin thinks about how nice it’d be to run his tongue over the expanse of skin, to mark it and claim it as his. When Vic abruptly stops, he can’t stop looking either and the guy has the fucking audacity to smirk too. Kellin feels like he just went back in time, back to 2005 when he was looking up at Vic from under his eyelashes as they tried to rile each other up as much as possible.

“ _The thing I think I love will surely bring me pain, intoxication, paranoia and a lot of fame_.”

He doesn’t realize Vic’s looking at him until Mike coughs.

 

* * * * *

 

He’s feeling weird today – disappointed, almost. Normally when he finishes a song, he feels a little down - of course he does, it’s normal – but he feels content and fulfilled as well. This doesn’t feel like it at all.

It’s not because of Vic, it’s _not._ He just likes hanging out with Pierce The Veil in general. He’d almost go as far as to say they are the most down to earth band he’s ever come across.

The airport is white, cold and clinical-looking and Kellin wants to dive back into the studio. He doesn’t want to go home, he just wants to stay here and hang out a little longer. He just can’t, not when every time he looks at Vic Charlie’s face appears in his head. He feels so guilty towards her, his stomach turning whenever he so much as looks at Vic. She deserves better than him.

“Take care Kellin,” Jaime says, smiling and he pulls Kellin into a hug, his hand hitting between Kellin’s shoulderblades.

“Yeah, you too.”

Tony is next, and Tony’s quiet, but Kellin can see the downward turn of his mouth. He smiles, Tony’s a good dude.

Mike wordlessly hugs him too, hissing, “Hurt him and I will kill you,” in his ear and Kellin frowns. Hadn’t he made absolutely clear that he has a fucking girlfriend and will therefore not do anything with Vic?

And oh, here comes the awkwardness. Now it’s just him and Vic, the rest look expectantly at them and Kellin looks down, fiddling a bit with the edge of his shirt. He swears he hears Vic sigh before he’s pulled into a hug, a warm body against his. Vic’s hand is – well, stroking? – his shoulderblades and Kellin relaxes into it, melts against Vic and buries his nose in Vic’s shoulder. He doesn’t admit it to himself, but he kind of wants to stay like this.

“Flight 391 to Michigan is departing in an hour. If this is your plane, please go to Gate 48 as fast as possible.”

Kellin flinches and so does Vic, and they pull back. Vic’s hand is still on his shoulder and he’s leaning upwards, like he might kiss Kellin and Kellin desperately wants him to, he wants Vic to pull him down and he wants to tangle his fingers into Vic’s hair and kiss him until they’re both breathless, but Vic’s big brown eyes remind him of Charlie’s and Kellin just – he just can’t.

“I’m sorry,” he stammers, pulling back. “I have to go. See you guys soon hopefully?”

He runs away before they can answer, taking one last glance back at them and pretending he doesn’t see the crestfallen look on Vic’s face.

Jesus, Kellin’s an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop that was it!!!! tell me what you think? also i changed my pronouns to they/she in case u didn't know!!!! i'm so happy everyone's accepting it ^^


	5. As I Dream Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between Charlie, Vic and recording his new album 'Feel', Kellin doesn't know what to do with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess what’s coming off hiatus bitches!!!! that’s right, it’s hold my heart!!! i’m v happy i’m able to write this again, though please don’t expect frequent updates because my exams are coming up and those are my priority atm oops....
> 
> also sorry for the abundance of hetero and the lack of gay in this chapter, i just kinda wanted to build the relationship between kellin and charlie. i promise next chapter is more gay ^^
> 
> anyways, enjoy!

The white tiles of the airport get dirtier and less inviting every time he sees them. He half-wishes there were some pebbles on it just so he could kick them around petulantly and get his point across, but he logically knows that it’d be a bit idea because he’d have to carry his suitcase with him instead of rolling it across the ground.

Normally, he’d be looking for Charlie around now, but he can’t bring himself to look away from the strange pattern of the tiles - why would anyone think that laying them in a crescent shape is a good idea and wouldn’t disorient people whenever they look down - and the way his black Converse contrast against them. It feels different, somehow.

“Kellin!” someone shouts and his head snaps up just in time to see Charlie running his way. He smiles the easy way he always does, always has been doing, since he met Charlie. There’s something about her that just relaxes him, even if the guilt of him and Vic washes over him in a massive tidal wave that has him stumbling back with more than just the force of Charlie throwing herself against him. “I missed you so much.”

He slips his arms around her waist, pulls her tight against him and pretends he doesn’t wish she were someone else.

“I missed you too,” he mumbles into her hair and the lie tastes bitter in his mouth. He missed, but not in the way she’d wanted him to.

“Let’s go home, shall we?” she smiles and he catches a whiff of her perfume that’s way too flower-y for his tastes and he stiffens slightly. It hasn’t ever been that way, he used to love the way she smelled and the way she’d bury her face into his neck whenever he hugged her.

He smiles back, hoping it reaches his eyes, that it doesn’t look too fake, but he sees an expression of confusion and something akin to panic flit across her face. He swallows, slipping an arm around her waist and she leans into him.

They walk back to the car in silence.

 

* * * * *

 

“I have a surprise for you.”

It’s the first thing Charlie’s said since they’d stepped in the car together and an attempt to diffuse the tension that’s steadily building in the narrow space of the car. Charlie knows something is wrong - of course she does, she’s always been too observant for her own good - but they’re avoiding it, simply because she’s also noticed Kellin doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Oh, really?” he asks, turning to her and raising an eyebrow. She smiles, putting her hand on his and squeezing a bit. Kellin can feel himself relax a little. He still loves Charlie, he really does.

“Yup,” she smiles, squeezing again before putting her hand back on the steering wheel. “I think you’re going to love it.”

He smiles, leaning back against the comfortable seat of the car - which is way better than an airplane seat, if the stiffness in his back is anything to go by - and closes his eyes.

“It better be a new couch,” he mumbles, before turning away a little and falling asleep.

The last thing he hears is Charlie’s silent laughter.

 

* * * * *

 

He wakes up to the sound of Charlie shouting in his ear, or, more likely, the way her fingers tickle his sides, sliding up and down until he’s squirming. He laughs, trying to push Charlie away but she’s insistent and keeps on tickling him.

“Uncle!” he shouts and only then does she pull away, both of them panting and laughing. She turns to him, her cheeks dimpled and brown eyes crinkled and it’s like someone punched him, because she reminds him of _Vic_. He can feel the smile slipping of his face and he desperately fights to get it back, but it’s no use, and after a few seconds Charlie’s eyes turn sympathetic.

Something in Kellin’s chest pangs. She shouldn’t be nice to him.

“Well,” she says after a few seconds of silence, “aren’t you ready to see what your surprise is?”

He smiles at her and steps out of the car, cracking his knuckles and stretching his back. No matter how comfortable the seat is, sleeping is always better when it’s on a horizontal surface. Charlie’s leaning against the car when he’s done and he grabs her hand, half-dragging her towards their front door.

“Jesus, calm down,” she hisses, but let’s herself be pulled anyway.

When he opens their door, the first thing he notices is the couch. Charlie’s bought a new couch.

He looks over to her, his eyes big and she smiles and nods at him to go ahead. He smiles, walking back to her to kiss her and whispers, “Thanks,” against her lips. She just waves him away.

“I know you want to, so just do it.”

Kellin laughs, throwing his head back, before nearly running over to the couch and falling down on it. It feels like heaven, there aren’t any springs digging into his skin, there isn’t any scratchy fabric that chafes him, only soft cushions and a material that feels like silk. He groans into the couch and Charlie laughs, running her fingers through his hair.

“So,” she says, her tone flirtatious and Kellin knows what she’s going to ask. “How about we christen this new piece of furniture.”

Kellin rolls his eyes - not that she sees it, because he’s still laying on his front - and turns over, pulling her on top of him.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it.

 

* * * * *

 

“Shit, really?” he asks his manager through the phone. Apparently they’re supposed to be recording their next album ‘Feel’ right now, and he needs to leave to go to their studio.

Meaning, he has to leave Charlie. Again.

“Yes,” his manager huffs and Kellin huffs petulantly back at her. He doesn’t want to go. “So just get your ass over here before I have to drag you here.”

“I will, I will,” he promises. “Just give me an hour and you can come pick me up.”

“Not your personal chauffeur, Quinn,” she warns him and he smirks in response - even though she can’t see it. She likes to think she’s his mother sometimes, even though she’s only three years older.

“No, but you do get paid for it, so just come get me in an hour,” he says and smiles when he hears her sigh. He turns around in his desk chair, spinning a few times before - oh, shit - he sees Charlie standing in the doorway with sad eyes. “Shit, I’ve got to go real quick, see you later.”

He ends the call before his manager can answer and turns to Charlie, who’s stumbling into their office room, her eyes wet with unshed tears and something in his chest pangs. He doesn’t want her to be sad, she doesn’t _deserve_ to be sad, even though Kellin’s a busy asshole.

“Are you leaving again?” she asks in a tiny voice and Kellin can’t do anything but nod, biting his lip in guilt. He sees her trembling, the way she tries to keep it together and he stands up, pulling her against his chest.

Her shoulders are shaking with sobs, the fabric of his shirt dampening with her tears. She looks so fragile right now, vulnerable, and Kellin doesn’t want to leave anymore. He wants to stay home and spend time with her.

Her fingers clutch at his shirt, nails digging into his skin and he hisses slightly at the sting but he lets her.

He knows he deserves it.

 

* * * * *

 

“What’s up with you?” his manager asks when they’ve been sitting in silence for the past thirty minutes, the rhythm Kellin’s unconsciously tapping with his fingers the only sound in the car. He shrugs and leans his head against a window. Leaving has always made him sad, but he can’t deal with it now that Vic’s come into the picture.

“Okay, I know your whole ‘emo’ thing is part of the Kellin Quinn look, but usually you aren’t this bad. What’s up?”

He snorts at her sarcasm, even though it bites more than he’d like to admit and shrugs again, saying, “Nothing, I just didn’t want to leave Charlie.”

He’s never been a good liar, but this is just plain sad. He can hear the waver in his own voice, the way he almost _spits out_ Charlie’s name and it makes his stomach turn with guilt and misery.

“You miss _Charlie_ ,” his manager scoffs, her tone leaving no room for argument. “Right. Charlie’s the problem here.”

He wishes he wouldn’t associate with so much observant people and ignores her, leaning back against the window.

If only Justin hadn’t taken him to that festival six years ago.

 

* * * * *

 

“Kellin!” Justin practically shouts and hugs him, a hand patting his back. “How was Pierce?”

Kellin hugs him back, dread pooling in his stomach and he knows he should tell Justin about Vic, but he doesn’t want to.

“It was good I guess,” he says, shrugging his shoulders and pretending he doesn’t see the look Justin throws his way. “How’s Feel coming along?”

“Alright,” Justin says and Kellin cocks his head, silently asking him to elaborate, but Justin shakes his head. “No, you first. What’s bothering you?”

“Oh my god!” he shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, not caring if anyone sees him. “Why do you all think something’s up?”

Justin frowns and grabs his hand, pulling him into a storage closet, and really, he should stop getting himself into situations in fucking _storage closets_ , because that’s just cliché.

“Obviously something is up, because you’re screaming your fucking head off, and not in a ‘we’re recording a song’ kind of way. Now tell me before I kick you and make you tell me.”

It’s different kind of tension then with Vic, but it still makes Kellin gasp for air as the wood of the closet digs uncomfortably into his back. There’s not even enough room to shift from one foot to another and he fidgets with his hands instead, hoping that somehow, either he or Justin falls through the floor and he won’t have to have this conversation.

“Do you remember-” Kellin chokes out, pausing and gathering his courage before starting again. “Do you remember that one festival you dragged me to six years ago?”

Justin chuckles and says, “The one where you hooked up with that singer that you then mooned over for a few years? I remember that one.”

It’s silent in the closet after that, Kellin doesn’t dare to say anything. The quiet is stifling, makes him choke every time he opens his mouth so he chooses not to.

“Wait,” Justin says after a while. “That singer is now the singer from Pierce, isn’t he?”

Kellin nods, knowing that Justin will feel instead of see it. He flinches when Justin’s hand lands on his shoulder. It reminds him of when Vic did that, how warm his hands felt and how Kellin wanted to keep them there.

“Sorry, man.” Justin squeezes his shoulder. “Talk to him about it?”

Kellin snorts. He already had, and that hadn’t ended well.

Maybe he’ll forget about Vic eventually.

 

* * * * * 

 

His mouse hovering over the ‘Show Inbox’ button, his fingers sticking slightly to the plastic of his laptop. He’s never been particularly anxious to open mail, but the name Vic Fuentes is enough to make his hands start to sweat.

He wonders what Vic’ll have to say, if it’s about what happened in the storage closet, or about what Mike told him, or if it’s just a formal business mail. He hopes it’s just something formal, stating how much they liked to work with him or something like that, but there’s a voice in the back of his head that keeps saying ‘But what if it’s not.’

For some reason, he really wants Vic to address their situation. He wonders if Vic gets anxious when he thinks about him, if Vic wants to kiss Kellin as bad as Kellin wants to kiss him even though Kellin has a girlfriend and he shouldn’t be thinking these kinds of things, goddammit.

The conversation he had with Justin echoes through his head. ‘Talk about it,’ Justin had said, and Kellin snorts. If only it were that simple.

He clicks the button anyway, bold letters stating ‘ **THANKS FOR WORKING WITH US** ’ nearly attacking him. Kellin swallows, opening the mail dejectedly. He knew it’d be something like this, but the formality of the mail is saddening and not at all like Vic. His hand clenches unconsciously around the mouse.

The only thing he can think is, ‘I’m sorry,’ but he doesn’t even know who to say it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woop that was it!!!! i hope you guys forgive me for not updating.....

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://kellic.co.vu)


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